Smashing McDonald's
by Nstorm
Summary: Join Marth, Mario, The Master Hand and all of your favorite(and hated) Smashers as they manage one of our very own creations Mickey D's also known as McDonald's! Come on down to the one place where extraordinary is ordinary and crazy is just a part of the Happy Meal that they're dishing out! Rated T to be safe
1. Chapter 1 Smashing Now

_**A.U. Note A.K.A Author's Note**_

**The whole story behind this is that one day, when I was trying to drift into the dream world, this idea came to mind. At the time, I originally wanted to do it with Mario characters, however I decided to change it to _SSB_ characters because why not? I planned to do a fic regarding this type someday, so might as well knock it out of the park. Anyway, I, of course, do not own SSB or any other franchise that is involved with this series. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing a fanfic about this now would I? Some characters will at times act OCD or whatever it's called when characters in a work of fan fiction behave a certain way that isn't their character. Especially Marth. Enough of that note, please do me a blessed favor, Reader, and just-**

**Enjoy, Fav, Follow, and/or review!**

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><p>The Smash Universe was home to an array of characters hailing from different eras and games from the old classic Nintendo 64 Mario to the <em>Fire Emblem Awakening <em>on the 3DS, all with their own unique abilities. There also was an abundance of revenue to be found within the shops that inhabit each world from each era, which made it the ideal place to start a business. At least, people assume. So to gain money that might not have been there in the first place, and to possibly make up for the costs to repair the Smash Mansion, The Master and Crazy Hand duo decided to pass a new law. This new law stated that: _All Smashers that reside and obey the rules of the legendary Smash Mansion, will hereby be sentenced to infinity working in whatever store, restaurant, strip mall, or even garbage bag they so please so that we don't have to raise money to pay for the destruction of the mansion. That and Crazy Hand wants a one-hundred inch flat screen TV, a golden glove, and something called Scent of De Crayzie. Whatever that is._

With that declaration made, and a sea of protests from the Smashers, they set off to work at whatever place they so desired when they weren't fighting. Of course, many were fired due to bad behavior while others were fired because they took way too much time servicing one customer, and only one was fired because they made the place smell due to their farts; yet they somehow managed to find another job in little to no time at all. Their incomes weren't enough for the Hands' basic needs, however, so many found themselves fighting them to make it up. That all changed when one man, clad in golden armor with a bag of frozen fish sticks held high while his pizza shield was being repaired, made history by redefining what fast food means.

Meet Chrom, the one Smasher who managed to make a Burger King into something great simply by serving more than just burgers and fries, but pizza burgers and fish stick fries. They laughed at him because he invented ridiculous food items to serve in a restaurant, however they were proven wrong when he, somehow, managed to shut down all the Burger Kings in the main city were the Smash Mansion was located at. It is a mystery how that came to be, but the income gained from it was more than enough to actually give everybody money when they needed it.

Yet there rose another challenger, one that sought out to outdo the legend Chrom created…..

* * *

><p>"Seriously, Marth?" asked Mario as he stood with none other than The Hero-King Marth as they waited for somebody to come in."<em>That's <em>the story you created from Chrom's success with his crazy food inventions?"

"Yes, but I'm still unsure how he makes those food items anyway," replied Marth, shrugging as he placed his right hand on his chin."But it sounds pretty impress nonetheless, correct?"

"Yeah, I guess," replied Mario looking at the front door. He sighed loudly," Man, sure wish business was faster."

"It doesn't help that we are have to look at Chrom juggle his bags of fish sticks while Samus tries to shot him," replied Marth, his shoulders heaving in exhaustion." When is Lucina coming in?"

Mario placed a hand on his face, shaking his head." She's not. She ditched us to go shopping with the girls other than Samus and Palutena."

Thus began the story…..another one…...


	2. Chapter 2 A Hand Floats in

The cold was seeping in through the cracks of the restaurant flooded with customers giving their money to pay for over priced McDonald's food. Mario was standing at the counter when a familiar face walked in the door. Or rather hand.

"What's up?" The Master Hand questioned Mario floating inside.

"Wait, you can talk!?" Mario gasped in pure shock as he then snapped his fingers in anger." Great, I owe Peach a back massage!"

"Of course I can talk!" The Master Hand shouted slapping Mario in the face.

Mario flies over the deep counter behind him, and into the deep fryer losing another one of his lives for today. He reappears back at the counter, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"I hate that I'm still connected to the game," Mario sighed." Anyway, how do you eat?"

The Master Hand shook himself.

"Better if you don't know," The Master Hand replied.


	3. Chapter 3 Goo on Link

Link walked into the restaruant covered in electrojelly AKA weird goo, leaving behind a green and glowing, trail of goo. Mario watched as Link walked from the entrance, to a booth, and took a seat at that booth. After staring at the man for who knows how long, he decided to go over to where he was sitting, and ask why he was covered in goo.

"Yo, Link?" Mario asked causually looking at Link and his goo while nodding his head." What's up?"

Link sighed heavily before wipping a glump of goo out of his eyes, but instead puts more goo on his face.

"I just got punked," Link sighed as Mario blinked twice.

"Wait, by who?" Mario asked narrowing his eyes at Link.

"The Master Nose," Link replied as Mario slowly backed away from him as if he was a bomb.

"Look, um, I don't want to touch something that came out of a nose, so I'm gonna go... wipe something down," Mario said awkwardly as he ran to get some stuff to clean Link up.

A child walked up to Link smiling, but quickly ran away screaming when he saw him up close. Link sighed.


	4. Chapter 4 PPPBM Appears

Mario watched as the new customer walked in, and took their seat in the back, facing Mario. He never ever saw something like this being. This being is legendary only coming once per yer, per day per week. Whispers have been made about them, and all fear him.

He is PPBM otherwise known as Pink Ping-Pong Man fighting crime by shooting pink ping-pong balls from his hands!

"Sir?" Mario called to PPPBM who looked at Mario in wonder." Are you going to buy something?"

PPBM tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"I'm goin go to die if you don't!" Mario exclaimed a sweat drop falling off his face." Because the girl is going to kill me!"

Not knowing that its not a cry for help, PPPBM gets out of his seat, and runs out the door looking for the female dog threatening Mario.

"I seriously need to get some-" Mario began when SCM otherwise known as Sea Cucumber Man walks in.

Mario sighed in despair.


	5. Chapter 5 They Come For Food

It was late at night at McDonald's, and Mario was trying to stay up since he was the only one there. He drank twenty cans of energy drinks, ten candy bars, and two gallons of hot sauce, yet he couldn't stay up. He had a feeling that he shouln't have drunk that hot sauce.

As he was falling asleep while standing up, a bright white light flashed outside the shop, and going inside the shop. Immediately, Mario woke up and summoned a pickle in his right hand ready to fight whoever is to come out of the light. When the light vanished, three green reptiles that stood like humans were in front of the counter. They had guns in their hands, and meant business. Mario was becoming scared-so scared that he was sorry he ate Luigi's sub.

"We come for McDonalds!" shouted one of them giving a peace sign at Mario.

After that, Mario fell to the ground for he finally lost his control over his sleepiness. The three reptiles looked over the counter at the sleeping Mario, who is sucking on the cucumber.

"We should have went to Taco Bell!" They shouted as they disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6 I'm The Real Dirty Dan

"I thought working in a place like this couldn't get any worse, but somehow I manage to always get proven wrong," sighed Mario shaking his head in disbelief as he watched the unfolding situation that was occurring.

"I hope you realize that your grammar did not make any sense in that one sentence," added Marth, reading a book sitting on the counter, passing a tray of food to Kirby who quickly passed it down a long line to their customer.

"And I hope you do realize that you're acting extremely lazy for a prince that-you know what, let's drop the subject," countered Mario groaning loudly realizing the argument would have been a hopeless debate.

"Yes, I agree, but that leaves one question," replied Marth closing his book and looking at Mario who raised an eyebrow." Who is this Dirty Dan everybody keeps talking about? Is he really that popular?"

"It's complicated-actually, it's a joke that was in this one cartoon," translated Mario.

"What is this cartoon?" asked Marth raising an eyebrow.

Mario mentally slapped himself once he realized that the Lazy Prince was from another world where cartoons hadn't been invented….yet. He reached over his left shoulder, grabbing the sheet of paper from Rosalina before blinking twice at the contents that the paper held.

"All right, who's Dirty Dan!?" shouted Mario.

"I'M DIRTY DAN!" shouted The Left side of the room, raising their hands frantically.

"NO, I'M DIRTY DAN!" shouted The Right Side of the room, also doing the same as the left side.

"That would be me," growled A Man in a ten gallon hat, dressed like The Texas Ranger.

Mario looked the man up and down, trying to find any traces of the resemblance to Dirty Dan then slapping himself once realizing Dirty Dan didn't have a description. The Man sighed taking out his ID that showed that he was, in fact, Dirty Dan who had just gotten out of the shower from his career as a professional Bull Rider and Monster Truck Driver.

"Oh, sorry sir, it's just-" began Mario.

"Don't worry about it, Boss, ever since my name was taken from me by that sponge, I've been trying to live a normal life, but alas everybody thinks they're Dirty Dan," replied Dirty Dan shaking his head in disapproval while taking the Happy Meal from Mario."Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go home to Larry Dan junior who I gave a normal name due to the fear of his name being the butt of a joke."

As Dirty Dan left the building, Marth looked at Mario while raising an eyebrow.

"So that was the real Dirty Dan, I presume?" asked Marth.

"Yep, apparently," sighed Mario walking to the back." If you need me, I'm going to be banging my head against the side of the fridge, questioning why I agreed to taking this job."

Marth blinked twice as he watched a tray of food being passed out the door, alone with twenty bucks worth of McDonald's toys that they would place in Happy Meals; realization dawning on him.

"Maybe we shouldn't be lazy, and actually deliver the food to the customers," he mumbled quickly getting off the counter, and going to implement the rules.

* * *

><p>"Say Marth?" asked Mario walking up to Marth, who was busy counting the revenue that they made for today."Can I ask you something?"<p>

"If it's the debate about whether or not I like Rosalina, or had sex with Ness then the answer's no, and Wario forced me to do say that," replied Marth not even bothering to look at Mario.

"What're you talking about?" asked Mario raising an eyebrow as Marth stop counting, and became as still as a statue.

"Nothing, nothing just mumbling to myself," replied Marth looking at Mario realizing his question wasn't matching up with his answer." You can ask me anything, as long as it doesn't involve sex, money or drugs."

Mario eyed him oddly before continuing."How come we're the only ones here?"

"Well….Mario, you see, Lucina's been on-" began Marth.

"If you say what I think you're going to say, I swear I will deck you in the snozze so hard-"

"What is this-never mind, the point I'm trying to make is that I don't know why we're the only ones working, or the ones that the story mainly revolves around. After all, we are pretty big and the bigger they are, the longer and harder it is to maintain order and ideas and such."

Mario blinked three times before he turned around, and went to go find his brother.


	7. Chapter 7 Foul Smells and Waxing

"Attention everybody, I have a serious and dire announcement to make!" shouted Marth as he walked out of the bathroom, hands held in the air as if he was surrendering to the police, all eyes on him."I have just finished using the restroom, and I have emitted a very foul and sinister smell otherwise referred to as dung! The bathroom smells like barn stable that has yet to be cleaned, and I advise against using the bathroom for a good two hours or so! If you do have to use the restroom, please, do not stay in there for longer than thirty minutes; otherwise you may never be seen again! That is all!"

Murmurs of confusion were exchanged among the customers as Mario and Wario watched, mouths wide open, the Prince walk calmly to the register resuming his usual business as if the actions that happened before did not happen. Marth, after twenty minutes and ten orders, noticed the two Smashers looking at him and decided to wave in greeting acknowledging their existence.

"So, Mario, how are you faring today?"asked Marth smiling at Mario warmly.

"I've been faring….nice-okay, why am I acting as if everything before this is normal!?" replied Mario realizing that he was still thinking about what Marth did." Marth, are you okay?"

"I am fine, why do you ask?" asked Marth raising an eyebrow at Mario.

"Well-never mind," replied Mario shaking his head before turning to Wario." Anyway, what's this about this new idea to increase business that you suddenly got when you were eating a taco?"

"Well, I was thinking that if people realize how popular we are as a group, then they will have no choice but to come and-" began Wario noticing that the customers suddenly vanished." Wait a minute, Mario, don't move. I think the aliens are finally invading-"

"BACK! BACK I SAY!" shouted Marth furiously waving his sword at the foul stench emitting from the bathroom, that somehow managed to form into a gaseous clone of Link." BACK YOU FOUL THING! I SHALL ERASE YOUR PRESENCE FROM THIS REALM!"

"Never mind, it's just Marth fighting the stench of the bathroom that managed to form into a gaseous clone of Link," assured Wario dismissing the bizarre situation as if it was a regular occurrence here." Anyway, Mario about that idea-"

"Not now, Wario, I'm busy trying not to slam my head against the counter repeatedly, questioning why I even took this job in the first place," sighed Mario massaging his temples.

"Lost a bet? Lucina forced you to? Got nothing else better to do? Got tired of living in the Smash Mansion?"

"All of the above, and much, much more Wario."

* * *

><p>"Marth, we need to-" began Mario walking up to Marth who was busy waxing the floor." What're you doing?"<p>

"Waxing the floor," replied Marth furiously waxing the floor with a black handkerchief, a bucket of wax right next to him.

"Marth? You do realize-" began Mario.

"Package for -AH!" said Pit, delivering his very first package on his very first job, before he slipped on the newly waxed floor, landing flat on his back.

"Pit, are you ok-AY!?" shouted Mario running to Pit's aid, forgetting about the waxed floor as he too slipped and fell flat on his back..

"Don't worry, my wings broke my fall!" exclaimed Pit giving a thumbs up as Marth quickly got up, grabbed the bucket of wax and went to wax the parts that Mario and Pit slipped on.

"Anyway, Mario what was it that you wanted to tell me?" asked Marth kneeling down next to Mario, ready for whatever speech he was going to give.

"Marth, never get married because your wife's gonna kill you in your sleep after one year," groaned Mario feeling his back bones broken and bruised." Also, you don't wax these floors, otherwise it's like running on ice."

"But Mario, how will I have offspring?" asked Marth curious.

"Don't, and if you do pray that they're smarter than you," groaned Mario slowly closing his eyes before going to sleep.

As the two Smashers drifted into the Dream World, Marth shrugged and quickly resumed his usual actions; despite the fact that he may have killed them.


	8. Chapter 8 Newly Chaotic

"I'll have you know that I was the BEST SWORDSMAN in all of the lands of Alberto Smith, and I don't have to take this abuse!" shouted Another Drunkard upset over Marth messing up his meal, when his meal was right all along.

"Sir, if you are unhappy with your order, I can-" began Marth stopping when The Man was escorted back to his seat by his wife." Come again!"

"I must say, Marth, you're rather calm for a prince working in a drama filled atmosphere like this one," said Master Hand floating in through the drive through entrance.

"Yes, as a Prince I must maintain the necessary qualities that those before me possessed," replied Marth walking over to the soda machine noticing that nobody bothered to put more napkins in the dispenser." OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU MORONS FORGOT TO PUT MORE NAPKINS IN THE DISPENSER!? WHAT DO WE LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF COMMENERS WHO CAN'T EVEN HOLD A SWORD IN THEIR HANDS WITHOUTH DROPPING IT ON THE GROUND!?"

At that exact moment Mario walked into the restaurant, a mug of coffee in his left hand as he rubbed his left eye, snorting loudly as he tried his best to wake up.

"What's Princess Martha throwing a fit over now?" asked Mario, slowly walking over to the counter, standing next to The Master Hand.

"Somebody forgot to put more napkins in the dispenser again," sighed The Master Hand moving his hand as he explained." As usual."

"I swear, that kid's becoming more crazier by the day," replied Mario taking a long, hard slug from his cup of coffee, snorting loudly as he tried to stay awake.

"What happened to you?" asked The Master Hand curiously.

"Well, it's a long story," replied Mario thinking back to what happened yesterday night.

_Yesterday Night_

"Say, Mario," said Peach sitting on the couch with Mario as they were both reading a book." Where's Lucina? She said she would be back an hour ago."

"Oh, you know that girl, probably out sparring with Chrom or Female Robin as usual," replied Mario shrugging." I've noticed something. I'm becoming old, aren't I?"

"Well, since Bowser and the Mario Bros are in Smash, the need to kidnap me has been…...terminated," translated Peach shrugging." That, and we don't really get that much action since most of the Smash Bros team has been working at McDonald's."

"True, true, but what I don't get is-" began Mario.

_WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

The placed their books down, and looked toward the front door that blocked their sights of the outside world; cautiously waiting for the person that yelled to smash through the door.

"Well, that was weird, for a minute I thought-" began Mario.

Suddenly, Chrom ran into the mansion, quickly slamming the door as he jumped over Mario and Peach, landing behind the couch they were on; quickly curling into a ball as if he was preparing for the worst.

"Chrom, what the hell?" asked Mario calmly looking over his shoulder at Chrom who was literally shaking, his clothes ripped.

"Lucina-she's-well, ever since Marth walked in-" began Chrom as Marth quickly sprinted into the room from the back, diving behind the couch where Chrom is.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" shouted Marth in nothing but his boxers, covered in what appears to be water and dirt." WHATEVER SHE SAYS I DIDN'T DO IT!"

"Okay, what the hell is-" began Mario when Link ran into the room, drenched in sweat and covered in dirt.

"LUCINA'SGOINGONAKILLINGSPREE!" breathed Link managing to get everything out in one sentence."OHGODSHEGOTKIRBYANDTHEVILLAGERANDITWASBRUTAL! IDIDN'TKNOWBODIESCOULDTWISTTHATWAY!"

"Okay, for the fourth time now, what the hell-" began Mario when Male Robin teleported into the room.

"Okay, there isn't much time to explain this, but Marth walked in on Lucina changing, and accidentally called her Pancake Girl for no reason, and was chased by her through ten worlds and he threw what appeared to be some sort of flask filled with a very foul liquid, and well…." replied Male Robin shrugging.

"Not to mention that he's been calling her Leukemia for the past couple of days, and also said that HER FATHER DIDN'T WANT HER!" added Chrom turning to Marth who shrugged.

"She stole my pancakes, and nobody-" began Marth.

_GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!_

The entire group turned to the doorway, all frozen solid from the death defying scream that came from whoever was outside. They looked at each other, exchanging confused looks before loud pounding was heard at the door.

"MARTH I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" shouted Lucina her sword drawn, and ready to chop off any heads that stood in her way.

"I'm out!" shouted Chrom, somehow knowing the slang that this world uses as he ran out the back way.

"I'm too young to die!" shouted Male Robin disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!" shouted Link and Marth as they quickly sprinted out the back way.

Peach looked at Mario, who sighed loudly giving chase after the fleeing males.

_Back to the Present_

"Wow, so she chased you all night, huh?" asked Master Hand.

"Yep, and the bad part about the whole thing was it hasn't even Marth, but the gaseous clone of him," sighed Mario shaking his head in disbelief."But knowing crazy females all they care about is killing somebody, and everybody in their path."

As Mario tried his best not to fall asleep standing up, Marth was busy trying to find the person who was responsible for not restocking the napkin supply.


	9. Chapter 9 Normal Day

It was a normal day at McDonald's, and Mario, Marth, and Master Hand were enjoying the tranquility of the day as it was one of the very few days were nothing crazy happened. At least that's what they thought, anyway. After about an hour of doing nothing, but absorbing the tranquility the day had to offer, Mario smelled something burning, or rather smoking and it wasn't burgers.

"Marth?" asked Mario looking at The Hero-King," did you leave the fryers on?"

"Mario, I do not know how your technology works, and would be the last person to leave them on, let alone try to work them," replied Marth, then raising an eyebrow." Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, it's just that I feel something's off, almost unusual," replied Mario crossing his arms over his chest and looking out the window." Eh, I'm sure it's nothing."

The two Smashers stared out the window, not realizing the grease leaking out from the back, to the front and coating the entire restaurant in hot, sizzling, near volcanic grease.

"So what're you going to do after work, Marth?" asked Mario.

"Oh, I presume I'll be sparring with Lucina once more to make up for all the times I've called her Pancake Chest, or some-such," replied Marth.

"Say, why do you call her that anyway?" asked Mario, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, no reason, just whenever my eyes drift over her body, I suddenly crave pancakes," translated Marth shrugging." It's strange, any other woman and I would just crave what you call a Meatball sub. It's most unusual."

"Yes it's-" began Mario realizing the pool of grease that covered the entire restaurant." Oh, no, not again!"

"Hm?" asked Marth looking at Mario who had a horrified look on his face.

"Marth, get Lucina on the phone, again," replied Mario groaning loudly at the thought of Lucina actually checking up on them.

Marth quickly nodded, and hopped over the counter only to slip and fall face first onto the grease soaked floor, much to Mario's displeasure.

"Master Hand, pick Marth off the floor, and go get Lucina," groaned Mario louder.

As The Master Hand picked The Hero-King off the floor, Mario groaned loudly as he grabbed the mop, the bucket of soap, and his plumber boots.

"STOP REVIVING THE FRYERS FRANK!" shouted Mario hopping over the counter, causing the grease to splash into the air, and hit him square in the face."IT'S NOT EVEN BUSY! FRANK! FRANK!"

Five minutes later, Master Hand returned with an annoyed Lucina who was wondering why Mario even bothered to call her in the first place. Once she walked into the restaurant, however, she understood why.

"FRANK! FRANK!" shouted Mario wrestling Frank for control of the fryers, that were literally flying into the air due to the sheer force that was being applied to them." FRANK!"

Lucina looked at Master Hand gave a thumbs down.

"He loves revving up the fryers," replied Master Hand shrugging.

* * *

><p>"Well, that was a great normal day, wasn't it Mario?" asked Marth walking into the Mansion after assisting Lucina with the clean up of the restaurant.<p>

Mario, who was in a body cast due to suffering beyond normal third degree burns, gave Marth a death glare before groaning loudly at not being able to scratch his nose.

"You know, Marth, sometimes I wish you'd just shut up."


	10. Chapter 10 Pinky Lucina

In the world of Marth it was a usual day with usual people who all seemed to know his name, and actually liked him despite the fact that he had a couple screws loose. In the world of Mario, it was an unusual day with unusual people that all caused him great grief and discomfort. And their worlds were about to be rocked like a Lucina.

"As of today, I shall be working along side you two idiots to ensure that peace is maintained, and because my Father thinks I just use you two as an excuse to go shopping with the other female Smashers," translated Lucina after a long speech that caused The Hero-King to fall asleep." You know how annoying Fathers can get-"

"Yeah, yeah, Lucy, we don't care about your petty Father-Daughter feud," interrupted Wario snorting loudly," what we do care about is getting money, and food! I've been sitting here for two freaking hours and has anybody so much as given me my order!? No, ma'am, and to top it all off Chrom's across the street attracting more business than this landfill of a restaurant!"

"Yes, we're very aware of the B.K.C crew across the street, that has attracted more customers than the M.D.L crew," replied Mario slapping Marth across the back of his head, waking the prince with a startle." Might I add, due to the fact that they have an actual crew."

"Oh come on, Mario, we have the best crew here!" exclaimed Marth happily, pointing at all of them except Wario." Together our might is as strong as a fat woman's ass cheeks!"

They all looked at Marth as if he had lost his mind, before quickly going back to their usual duties.

* * *

><p>"Mario guess what?" asked Marth walking into Mario's room after their usual duties were finished." My pet just turned ten years old, and we're having a party to celebrate!"<p>

"Oh, really?" asked Mario raising an eyebrow at Marth while placing his sports magazine down on his nightstand." Wow, Marth, never though of you as a pet owner sort of person. What kind of pet do you have anyway?"

"Only the finest in all of the lands," replied Marth crossing his arms over his chest as he stood with the pride of a king." In fact, our bond has become as rock solid as my pet's skin."

"Wow, you managed to get a rock type Pokemon as your pet?" gasped Mario his mouth nearly falling to the floor, and rolling away.

"No, I managed to get something even better than a Pokemon," replied Marth.

Mario nearly fainted at the sight of his pet rock, that he named Pinky and painted her pink giving her a bow tie. The other Smashers, mainly Dark Pit who wanted to smash it, and Paluttena who approved of Pinky as if she was a normal pet; were very surprised let alone happy that Marth took on some responsibility.

"Now, Mario, remember your breathing," advised Peach as Mario's left eye started to twitch violently," we wouldn't want a repeat of the first time you say Gandorf naked."

"Don't remind me, Peachy, I never knew that could be a certain color," replied Mario shuddering at the mere mention of seeing a naked Gandorf.

"My, I've never seen such a lovely piece of rock since the time we allowed Lucina to have one," chuckled Chrom patting Marth on the shoulder as if he was his own son, ignoring the loud yells of embarrassment from Lucina." Brings back so many memories!"

"F-Father, we agreed we would never-" began Lucina.

"Oh, come on, Lucy, where's the fun in that?" asked Bowser an empty bottle of the biggest liquor ever created in his large hands." Besides, we used to tell stories of love while beating the stuffing out of my giant, scaclely-"

Groans of protest ran out among the Smashers as Bowser growled loudly, being cut off from a perverted joke once more.

"Thank you, Chrom, I'm sure Pinky would be thrilled to meet Lucina's pet rock," replied Marth smiling brightly.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she still has it, right Lucina?" asked Chrom raising an eyebrow at Lucina, who merely turned her head away.

"I've thrown that thing away a long time ago, Father," replied Lucina.

"Hey, Chrom, open this one for me would ya?" asked Bowser handing Marth a present wrapped in black." From the two of us, you know, my imaginary girlfriend, Trina, and myself. I thought the two of you would like this."

"Looks like a hat, but one must check to be certain," replied Marth inspecting the thing as if it was a bomb.

When he unwrapped it, Mario nearly fainted at the sight in front of him. Bowser bought Marth a matching pink tiara to compliment Pinky's big pink bow tie.

"Mario, remember your breathing," muttered Mario as he went back t his room, forgetting anything about Marth and his pet rock Pinky.


	11. Chapter 11 Stripping and Bluey

Lucina placed a couple of new rules to assert her position as manager, and boss to the two males that always seemed to be working at the McDonald's she owned. For instance, one of the rules was that Frank was never to be allowed near any of their fryers under any circumstances, otherwise she would dip them in acid. Another was that Gaseous Link was never allowed to leave the restroom for a split second, otherwise they would die. And another rule was that-

"I'M SORRY CHROM, LUCINA MADE ME DO IT!" shouted Marth as an angry Chrom chased him down the street, covered from head to toe in what appeared to be some sort pf pink goo." HONEST!"

Mario stood outside the restaurant, watching intently while slowly enjoying his coffee, as Marth tried his best to avoid being tackled by Chrom. He was impressed at the Smasher's overall speed in this situation, the latter being able to avoid getting hit by twelve cars in a row in a deadly game of Chicken.

"MARIO, I REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE!" shouted Marth flipping over Chrom as he slashed at his ribs.

"Nah, you're fine Marth!" shouted Mario waving his hand dismissively." Just-just keep what you're doing, he's bound to get tired! Like something out of a documentary about predators stalking their prey or something on the animal channel!"

"WHAT IS THIS ANIMAL CHANNEL!?" shouted Marth quickly taking off his shirt, and sprinting down the street like a crackhead running from the cops, vanishing around the corner as Chrom gave chased.

"Mario, is The Hero-King gone!?" yelled Lucina from inside.

"Yep, he's not in the radius of McDonald's anymore," replied Mario causally taking another sip from his coffee before looking at his watch."Doubt he'll be back within the next hour or so. Maybe I'll get some peace and quiet."

An hour or two later Mario was taking out the trash when he noticed the speck of blue hair sticking out from behind the trash can, and the fact that there was a long trail of ripped fabric that seemed to end at the trash can. When he went to inspect what it was, he nearly fell backwards avoiding getting his head chopped off by what appeared to be a piece of a broken blade. He also was greeted by the sight of a naked Marth, who was shivering violently despite the fact that it was almost summer.

"What the hell, Marth!?" shouted Mario causing The Hero-King to flinch at the mere sound of yelling." What happened to you!?"

"I-I do not wish to talk about it, as the recollection of what I have seen involved the mere sight of a fully naked Capt in Falcon applying grease to his nether regions," replied Marth shaking like a salt shaker after saying the words nether regions, his eyes suddenly becoming smaller." I never knew a manhood could have been that color."

Mario shuddered as he patted Marth on the shoulder, and guided him back into the restaurant where they were both knocked out by a quick chop from Lucina, who turned a bright pink color upon seeing Marth naked. Master Hand turned to Wario whose eyes were about to pop out of his head upon hearing the glass shattering sound that rang throughout the restaurant.

"Wario, limbs can shatter like glass if they-" began Master Hand when he turned to what Wario was looking at.

Capt in Falcon turned around, his hands on his hips as he assumed a heroic pose, not realizing he was wearing any pants and was exposing himself to the entire restaurant. At once, everyone averted the eyes at the mere sight of his strangely colored manhood except for a group of boys scout, who quickly looked at each other; remembering seeing the hero a week ago in the same situation.

"Luis, that man's the same-" began Clark, the youngest of the scouts, pointing at Capetian Falcon.

"We know, Luis, the man we call Bluey because of his blue penis," replied Luis, the oldest of the scouts, lowering Clark's hand.

"My, my this is…..rather awkward," replied Master Hand." The worse part's the fact that I ate a meatball sub before coming here."

Wario became confused at his comment," How da hell do you eat, and where does it go?"

"You wouldn't want to know."

And everyone in the restaurant that day never ate or looked at another meatball sub again, and some dropped their blue bars of soap in the shower the next day.


	12. Chapter 12 What should never happen

In order to speed up business, boost profits, and get rid of Frank the reviver Mario hired The Male Robin and Shulk and also suggested that they use their powers in usion. Marth advised against it considering that it was a rule to report any and all new things that happen at McDonald's to Lucina, to which Mario replied-

"Marth, nobody has enough time or energy for that, and what she doesn't know won't kill her later."

To which Marth replied with a,"And what she doesn't know will have somebodies head rolling after she found out what she wasn't supposed to know."

To those reading, and possibly knowing the effects of using Magic with the ability to slow down, this situation did end in chaos. After about a minute and one order that flew out the window, and all the way across the street into a home of an unsuspecting Koopa Trooper who nearly had a heart attack from the order that went through his window. On the up side, he didn't have to make lunch for the day.

Orders flew everywhere, napkins were burnt to a fine crisp like a really black African guy, somebody lost a limp due to the fire magic mixing with the grease that created a flaming sword that went through their neck. Tables were thrown about, most from the customers that tried to create a barrier that ended up being destroyed when Marth was thrown into the barrier by the mine like explosion that came from a McChicken. Mario tried his best to fend off the remaining Happy Meals of mass destruction by shooting fireballs at them, but ultimately ate the dust bunnies as he was knocked to the ground by Marth, who thought Mario needed another chop to the head.

"Damn, talk about food that bites back!" shouted Wario covering his head with a metal tray as it suddenly turned into World War One in the restaurant.

"I'll say, and I always said I had my food tamed like my-" began Sonic.

"Okay, I would love for you to make a sexual joke, but I'm afraid WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE!" shouted Mario covering his head as him and Marth lied on the ground, hoping they wouldn't get hit by the flying food of destruction.

"Mario, I would hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we somehow have infinite lives considering we aren't in the game," replied Marth shrugging." And we could always bring you back with the Seven Master Hand Balls."

"Marth, that's not a reference that actually suits this-wait do you even-" began Mario.

"INCOMING!" shouted Yoshi.

The two quickly rolled to the side as another Grenade McChicken flew to the spot they were in, going off with a Big _BANG! _With the latter of the explosion knocking them into the soda machine that blew up; sending the entire restaurant blasting off into the sky.

* * *

><p>"And that, my friends, is what would happen if you were to use your powers in usion," replied Marth showing the group his latest story that he created." Quite the dilmena, no?"<p>

"Marth-" began Mario groaning loudly as he turned his neck to the left, feeling his spine starting to tingle." Never mind. You have quite the imagination."

"Yes, my masters and friends before me would always tell me how colorful my imagination is," replied Marth taking the intended insult as a compliment." Now, if you excuse me, I have to check on Pinky since I did promise her I would be back before supper."

The three watched as the prince proudly walked away from them, going to check on a non-living being that was very well dead from neglect of…..some sort. Why are we acting as if this is-

"The narration's staring to become a bit…...thinner," replied Mario shrugging as he went back to work.


	13. Chapter 13 Shulk Rapping Take One

"Lucina said we could do it, Marth!" shouted Shulk being filled with the excitement of a three year old girl as he ran into the restaurant overhearing what Lucina said to Chrom.

"YES IT IS SUCH A GLORIOUS DAY!" shouted Marth as he ripped off his work gear, dressed in a tuxedo.

"ATTENTION EVERYBODY!" shouted Shulk standing on top of a table.

At once every head turned to them as Marth started to drum out a sick beat, while Shulk cleared his throat to sing.

_My Name's Shulk, it rhymes with bulk and Mai boy Marth here, is bustin' out the sickest beat of the year!_

_You got nothing to fear, as we're here to be fair and tell you all something!_

_WE LIKE BIG STORIES AND WE CANNOT LIE!_

_YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY!_

_THAT WHEN A STORY WALKS IN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF WORDS AND A DUMB AUTHOR IN YOUR FACE _

_YOU GET HIGH-_

"Shulk, what hell're you doing!?" shouted Lucina quickly walking out of the bathroom, a long trail of toilet paper attached to her right boot as she stared at The Monado Wielder.

Shulk immediately became as still as water before he ran out of the restaurant, feeling that he heard wrong while Marth continued to bust out a sick beat-despite the death glare from Lucina.

"BABY GOT WHACKED!" shouted Marth at the top of his lungs, having more fun than a fat kid would at a chocolate factory.


	14. Chapter 14 We Can't Describe This?

"Lucina, why is Marth dressed up like Ronald McDonald, holding a sign that says name your price, and shouting-" began Mario walking into the restaurant noticing Marth's latest comedic relief.

"MY HAPPY MEALS BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEY BE LIKE IT'S BETTER THAN YA'LLS AND DAMN RIGHT IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!" shouted Marth walking around with everything that Mario just said, holding the sign like a girl introducing a wrestling match." I CAN TEACH YOU BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE!"

"I wanted to try an experiment to see if business would improve, and since we have only five people that actually work here, Marth was the lucky idiot that got picked," replied Lucina shrugging as she walked back and forth in the back where the deep fryer was." That and I'm getting back at him for all the insults he directed at me."

"Oh, yeah, is it true that you were once called Loopy Lucy because you run around the battlefield wondering where Daddy is?" asked Mario causally quickly walking away when Lucina gave him a death glare.

"UNHAND ME SIR!" shouted Marth backhanding Ike, causing him to let go of his wrist." WHO DO YOU THINK I AM ANYWAY!?"

"A Prince that refuses to seek medical attention due to the fact that he's slowly losing it!" shouted Ike grabbing his wrist again." Now, come with me so we can partake in what these people are referring to the intimate act between two males, Dropping The Soap."

"HELP! HELP! DANGER IT'S A STRANGER ALERT!" shouted Marth trying to escape Ike's hold." HE SAYS HE WANTS TO DROP THE SOAP WITH ME IN AN INTIMATE AND FORBIBBEN ACT BETWEEN TWO MALES!"

Ike embraced Marth in a choke hold, dragging him away kicking and screaming smiling evilly at all the nightmarish thoughts that he would do on Marth. And with an evil smirk to his face, he whispered softly and evilly in his left ear-

"Don't fight it love, it's not a danger or anything wrong when you like it or want it."

"AAAHHHH!" screamed Marth at the top of his lungs as he awoke with a start in his own bed, in his own room on his own terms."GAH!"

* * *

><p>Marth quickly reached to the left of his bed, grabbing Pinky The Rock as he cuddled up with her to forgot about his nightmare.<p>

"My Gods, it seemed so real, Pinky, so real!" shouted Marth petting Pinky softly and quickly." So really real! So…...surreal! Oh, surreal!"

Lucina awoke with a start before quickly realizing that Marth was having another one of his episodes, before turning to her right to find a half naked Peach trying to kiss her. In response, she quickly kicked her out of bed before falling asleep thinking of all the ways to get back at Marth.


	15. Chapter 15 That Seventh Hug

"YOU WILL NOT PASS UNTIL I GET THAT DAMN SEVENTH HUG!" shouted Marth blocking the drive thru for no apparent reason, angering several customers.

"What's this idiot doing now?" groaned Mario placing a hand on top of his head the group watched the extra ordinary scene escalating pretty quickly.

He then looked at the rock that he held on the palms of both of hands, blinking twice before realizing what was happening." And why the hell am I watching his rock!?"

"The idiot's been complaining about how little love he gets on a daily basis-you know, since he's a Smasher and all that mess-so I made a deal with him," replied Master Hand.

"What kind of deal?" asked Lucina raising an eyebrow at the hand, along with the other curious Smashers present.

"If he can get seven hugs by the end of this day-in any way, shape or form without being arrested-that I would force all of the female smashers to treat him really nice-like a King-for a week," translated Master Hand, giving a thumbs up to the Smashers." Pretty cool, huh?"

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" shouted Marth drawing his sword slashing the car tires of Daisy, who was giving any and all hand signs she knew and that were created at him." I WILL GET THAT SEVENTH HUG!"

"Master Hand, you have created a monster," replied Lucina smirking at the sight of The Fabled Hero-King acting this way." That won't stop until he gets that seventh hug."

"Damn, where the hell's the damn seventh hug!?" shouted Shadow honking his horn trying not to kill everybody in sight." I'm hungrier than Kirby when he's got the munchies!"

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" bellowed Marth hacking away at another car that dared to try to advance on him." YOU SHALL NOT PASS UNTIL I GET MY HUG!"

Suddenly, the car jolted forward with such great force, it caused the Fabled Hero-King to literally fly into the wall of an abandoned McDonald's, shattering multiple organs and fracturing some.

"Looks like he won't be getting that…...booty!" shouted Patchy The Pirate, over hearing the crazy situation they were in.

He motioned for a high five as the Smashers looked in the direction Marth flew.

"Am I right, guys!?" shouted Patchy while Lucina walked to check on him."Guys?! C'mon, you filthy land lubbers, don't leave me hanging!"

"C'mon, Marth, let's get you-" replied Lucina grabbing Marth by his arms, and embracing him-

Embracing him-

Embracing him-

Embracing him-(You can tell I'm tired, but will won't stop until the seventh hug is achieved!)

Embracing him-

You know, wrapping her arms around her like she was doing the H-word with him!

"Marth, she's giving you a hell!" shouted Mario.

"No, she's giving him head!" countered Wario slapping Mario's cap off him.

"No, she's giving him Hector!" shouted Yoshi, knocking the cap off of Wario.

"MARTH SHE'S GIVING YOU AN INVOLUNTARY HUG!" shouted The Master Hand, backhanding everybody across their face at once."Damn, you all are hopeless in getting clues dropped by a tried narrator."

"YES!" shouted Marth quickly pushing Lucina off of him, and running into the sunset." YES I HAVE DONE IT! I HAVE FOUND THE SEVENTH HUG!"

"You want to know what's really funny?"asked Master Hand causing all of the Smashers to look at him." Crazy Hand was the one who suggested it."


	16. Chapter 16 Bely Dancing Manly

"If this is happening, then I think it's time the Author should see a doctor," muttered Mario, closing his eyes while pinching the bridge between his nose at the scene that was unfolding.

Most of the entire restaurant were puking their guts out, or actually trying not to make their eyes burn at the mere sight that the fan girls seemed to enjoy more than anything. In fact, it's making the narrator sick to their stomach that we're going to have get a new one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some Pepto Bismo to get rid of this…..gut ache. Dear lord, if you could see what I'm seeing you'd be having nightmares.

Anyway, putting fourth wall breaking aside, the act that was being committed in the restaurant should be illegal on two counts, one being a man in a belly dancer costume who hasn't even bothered to shave any part of their body, and looks like Dixie Kong Belly dancing. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go get the other narrator since that just made me sick to my stomach. Dear lord, if you knew what is going through our minds right now….you'd be trying to kill yourself.

Why are we changing narrators? The word count will be battered, violated, and swimming in a sea of blood by the time we're done with this chapter. Great, we've already broke the fourth wall so many times that it should be a crime, and we aren't even to the weird parts yet. Anyway, let's start this already.

"My, my this is oddly mesmerizing, but repulsive at the same time," said Master Hand unaffected mainly due to the fact that he cannot puke his guts out." I never knew he could shake it like that."

Yes, Marth the Fabled Hero-King was dressed like a dancer, and was shaking his rump to the beat of One Pound Fish by some Indian pop singer or whatever. He was shaking with such force that it looked like somebody was tossing around a bag of rubber around, or maybe even somebodies grandpa or grandma shaking it like they are still young. A grandma would sound about right at this point, and her cellulite thighs, and torso were shaking like Jello at the speed of light. Not to mention the hairy legs, and what appeared to be parts of his wee-wee being exposed to the world-excluding the fan girls because they're fan girls and all that mess. Marth was the type of guy that would do things like this just to raise morale, and bring in more revenue if needed. Even if it made him….repulsive. Can I…..please get a…..medic?

(The old narrators got so sick, and a really bad gut ache from the description of Marth belly dancing like there's no tomorrow that we have to resort to just characters dialogue to make it at least understandable. Please standby and enjoy dialogue of the character's as we try to find a new narrator or something)

"Marth, for the love of god, stop-" began Mario.

"Mario, do not stop a viral sensation that has yet to sky rocket," interrupted Wario." We could be filthy rich if they make a parody to this!"

"What-"began Mario.

"It's true, Nikki Manjai did it with that one verse from _Baby Got Back_, and Sir-Mix-A lot's getting more money than he could count!" exclaimed Yoshi.

"Yes, I know, but this might kill us," replied Mario.

"Imagine if this was an actual move in Smash," chuckled Master Hand."All the guys of Smash would have this as their finisher, and all their enemies would be force to surrender due to the horror of it."

"And that would make The Master Hand invincible because he's immune to it," muttered Mario." Hey, Lucy, how you holding up in there!?"

"Sick," replied Lucina." I am going to die….In twenty minutes."

"COME ON LADIES! COME ON LADIES! ONE POUND MEALS!" shouted Marth." ONE POUND MARTH! I'LL GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT! I'LL TREAT YOU REAL NICELY!"

"The dialogue she told Marth to say is no going to bite her in her pancake arse, and take a large bite out of it," said Mario.

"Say, when's the new narrator supposed to come anyway?"

"Don't know, don't care as long as we can find a way to end this before-"

"OH MY GOD HE'S DOING THE PLEVIC THRUST AND HIS PENIS IS GONNA COME OUT!" squealed The Fan girls.

Suddenly, a brick was thrown through the window which was shattered, at Marth who fell to the floor slowly before hitting the ground with a thud.

"THAT WAS FOR MY NARRATORS YOU BUNDLE OF HAY!" shouted A Dark Figure outside of the restaurant, the sound of a car speeding away settling over the building.

Everybody looked at the motionless figure of Marth, who showed no signs of getting up anytime soon.

"Does that mean I get his wealth considering he signed a liability waver and also a heritage paper saying I would inherit his wealth?" asked Master Hand causing everybody to glare at him evilly."Never mind, that was…..too soon, but what do I know? I'MA FREAKING GIANT FLYING HAND!"


	17. Chapter 17 Don't Eat The Foo

"MOVE IT!" shouted Lucina bursting through the walls of the shop, pushing down numerous customers in what was the greatest NFL play in the world." CAN'T…...HOLD IT!"

Mario and Marth watched intently as Lucina nearly tore through the line of people standing to use the restroom, kicking out everybody that was in that bathroom causing them to become confused at what was happening.

"Lucina must really need to use the bathroom," replied Mario shaking his head slowly while Marth gave pursuit." She didn't even realize that she ran into the men's bathroom."

"Yes, it is quite unusual, but I do hope that she's okay," replied Marth.

"Twenty bucks says that she fell in the toilet," said Wario seeing a possible gambling opportunity ripe for abuse.

"Fifty says she took a dump in the urinal," replied Mario snapping his fingers, pointing at Wario.

"One hundred says she tried to take a dump in the urinal, only to realize that it wasn't an a toilet once she fell in it, and she fell in the actual toilet that had piss in it," replied Link shrugging as he approached the group, taking a swig of his drink.

"My position as boss says that all that happened, and that every urinal and John still has piss in it," replied Master Hand floating in while signing off some papers.

The sound of a million nuclear bombs going off at once tore through the shop, the sound traveling further than the speed of light and Sonic. In fact, it was so violent that it was registered as a fifteen point six on the earthquake scale, thus breaking the limits forever. Despite all of that, the epicenter and all around them stayed unaffected, unless you count the smell of the aftermath unaffected.

"Gods, it smells like an infinite number of Warios farting all at once," groaned Marth covering his nose with a blue cloth.

Wario raised his fist in the air, about to clock Marth one, but quickly lowered it once realizing that what the Hero King said was true. After nearly twenty minutes of silence along with the odor of the aftermath, Lucina weakly walked out of the bathroom nearly being trampled by the group of men that all had to use the bathroom.

"And they were never seen again," said Master Hand as the door closed.

"Lucy, you okay?" asked Mario.

"Yes, I am fine," replied Lucina at a loss for words." God, my stomach hasn't been like that ever since Pit's cooking."

"What happened anyway?" asked Marth raising an eyebrow at her.

"Well, I'm not sure exactly, but I believe it had something to do with the midnight snack I had last night," said Lucina placing a hand on her chain, going into a deep train of thought.

"Was it the food from here?" asked Mario.

"How did-"

"Well, ever since about a few days ago, there has been a steady increase in the amount of people who say that they hate our food. So, we handed out surveys to see what was the cause of it. Apparently, somebody's managed to sneak laxative in nearly every single on of our meals, which did improve the quality of it, but increased the amount of…..conspaption it could inflict on one person."

"That, and we've managed to burn nearly every single meal we've prepared."

"How long has this been happening?"

"Just recently, and we realized it when people would come here to get a meal, then throw away the food and keep the drink. In fact, some even keep them.

"I've heard they make great canvas'!" shouted Pit showing a miniature, life sized scale model of himself to the group.

"They make great rocks!" shouted Dark Pit throwing the burnt piece of meat at Pit's head, knocking him out.

"They work as fuel too!" shouted Luigi shoving an entire shovel full of their food into the furnace of an old fashioned train.

"They make excellent foundations!" shouted A Group of construction workers all holding big sags of cash in their arms.

_So come on down to the worst McDonald's in the entire universe, where their food works great with everything that's not a stomach! Call this toll free number now, and we'll throw in a GPS that has the location built in! But wait, there's more! That's right, pick up that phone right now, and we'll even give you a coupon for two soft drinks when you but any meal-free of charge! Operators are standing by!_

The group stood I silence as they stared at the only television in their restaurant that was in the corner the entire time, and the fact that they had just been punked.

"The food's not even good, anyway," replied Mario shrugging as he went off to work.


	18. Chapter 18 Into the fryer

Everybody screamed, throwing up their hands in the air and letting them fly behind their backs like gravity just didn't care one jack squat about them, as another earthquake shook the entire city they were in. Burgers went flying, ketchup and drinks spilled on the floor, and Lucina's head somehow made it into the fryer despite she wasn't even near the fryer in the first place; causing the entire situation to sound like a Smooth Criminal committed this. Moments later, after the damage was assessed and everybody weakly got to their feet, Marth and Mario walked into the restaurant more focused on the discussion of their victory over Crazy Hand and The Master Hand than the situation.

"Where were you two!?" shouted A Blue Haired Woman, who was busy wrapping bandages around Lucina's head." We've been tending to the injured for hours upon hours, even though it's been about twelve minutes later!"

The blinked at the woman, slowly turning their heads to the side like a confused puppy.

"Do….do we know you?" asked The Two, both equally confused.

"I'm Lucina's speech aid, since her head somehow landed into the fryer instead of her entire body due to the crazy earthquake just now," replied The Woman, rolling her eyes.

Marth and Mario both exchanged confused looks before looking around at the almost destroyed fast food place that was still standing, including the soda machine.

"Remind me to take the Soda Machine with me on my next match," muttered Mario to Marth, who nodded. He clapped his hands together, walking to Lucina." Anyway, Lucina are-" He stopped midway forgetting that she couldn't talk with those bandages on her." Is she okay other fro her head?"

"Yes, she's alright, but her face may never heal….hopefully that's not going to be the case because she'll never find a spouse with the face she has," replied The Woman." By the way, my name's Blue."

Mario blinked twice, deciding to leave that name the way it was, instead turning to Marth who was busy watching as somebody stole the cash register.

"Marth?"

Marth turned to Mario, raising an eyebrow." Never mind, but what do you think caused this?"

He shrugged," Methinks that Wario fell down a skyscraper again."

* * *

><p>Tails blinked twice at Sonic, who was starring at his broken karaoke machine., only to grab a guitar, an amp, and a microphone instead.<p>

"Sonic, I know you're getting bored and all, but don't you think that-" began Tails, nearly falling to his knees, and begging hi not to play.

"SHUT UP TAILS!" shouted Sonic into the microphone as loud as he could, furiously strumming the guitar.

He began to play, and sing, so badly that even the earth couldn't stand this abuse, and decided to end it by causing an earthquake, defying all logic along with this one sentence. If Sega allowed Sonic to write and play his own songs, then Sonic would have been dead by now…..


	19. Chapter 19 Marth, Shulk, Castro

"Lucina, and Blue, why is Marth in the corner, curled up into a ball, slowly rocking back and forth while sucking on his thumb like a baby?" asked Mario after walking in, and finding Marth in said position.

"Apparently, there's this horror game called _Five Nights At Freddy's _Marth played said game in the dark after Lady P clearly told hi he would get nightmares," replied Blue causing Lucina to nod in approval." She was right-he's mortified, and the worse part is that we actually have an animatrionic version of Fidel Castro on display out front."

Mario gave a confused face at this, never once knowing that Fidel Castro was alive in animatronic form just outside their door, and not Ronald McDonald.

"What does Castro have to do with anything, and why do we have that anyway!?" exclaimed Mario, confused.

Blue shrugged at both," Lucina wanted to attract Cubans to-" began Blue.

"Why she is-" began Mario, shaking his head in shame as he went to go clock in.

Shulk had a plan with a one man band that he wrote on his hand without a single fan. He was going to rap in Lucina's Mcdonalds about how nasty Lucina was while wearing a Fidel Castro outfit to show how much more…..powerful he was than her when it came to this field. In reality, Shulk should have stuck to singing he was really feeling it while swinging his sword around like an idiot. In reality, Shulk really did write this plan all on his hand with the intent to become a one man band, but without a single fan to actually fund him. Many flaws were in this plan, but flaws were like laws in a since they were paws and fawns.

_I'm going to get her good, yes I will! No longer will Lucina ever make fun of my rapping again! _Thought Shulk as he made his way to the fast food place wearing the costume.

Within seconds of entering, he was treated like a celebrity that was never rediscovered since their mysterious disappearance, and Blue was confused as to why there was somebody wearing an outfit like that.

"Cosplayers, a group of people I will never understand," muttered Blue, shaking her head as Shulk Castro made his way to the front counter." Welcome to McDonald's, how may we-"

"SUCK IT LUCINA!" shouted Shulk, causing Blue to blink twice, then four times as Shulk pulled a microphone from his butt.

"Excuse me?" asked Blue, looking at Lucina then back at Shulk-Castro." Who are you, and have we met before?"

"No, we haven't-at least…..I don't think?" replied Shulk-Castro, tilting his head to the side." But that is not the point, the point is that I'm here to show how great I am at rapping by dissin' out Lucy over here like-"

"DIE! DIE YOU FREAK OF NATURE!" shouted Marth, running at Shulk with a piece of wood from a nearby table, knocking him to the ground in one fluidly motion.

_Now I'm really confused, _thought Blue, raising an eyebrow at the fight occurring right in front of her.

Marth kicked, hit, punched, and even bit Shulk-Castro like a crazed Diva on another crazed Diva that started the fight, causing Shulk to flap around like a fish out of water before actually using his abilities to get back on his feet.

"Marth! Marth! MARTH STOP! IT'S ME!" shouted Shulk-Castro, quickly taking off his head piece to reveal that he wasn't some guy in a suit." IT'S ME SHULK!"

Marth's wood plank hit Shulk's gut, causing the Smasher to gasp in surprise briefly before recovering. He blinked twice at Shulk before he raised the wood over his head again.

"DIE FOUL EVIL SPIRT THAT HAS TAKED HOSTAGE OF MY DEAR FRIEND SHULK!" shouted Marth, swinging at Shulk who quickly sidestepped to the left.

"MARTH IT'S ME SHULK!" shouted Shulk, evading swings from Marth whose aim was slowly beginning to become worse." AND I'M NOT POESSESSED BY ANY EVIL SPIRT!"

"THAT'S THE DEMON TALKING NOT YOU SHULK! I SHALL ERASE THIS DEMON'S PRESENCE OF THIS WORLD BEFORE IT TAKES OVER THE REST OF MY COMRADES! FOR PINKY!"

Shulk immediately sprinted out of the fast-food place, Marth quickly running then back-flipping out one of the windows after him; just as Mario walked out from the back, fully ready for work to see what all the commotion was about. He looked at Blue, who shrugged.

"It was all Shulk-Castro's fault!" shouted Blue.

"Remind me never to come here when Marth's gone insane."


	20. Chapter 20 Marth Needs Honey

"Mario, I'm lonely," replied Marth, walking into McDonald's during one of their tea meetings.

"And? What does that have to do with the subject we're talking about that you weren't present for, sine you took your sweet time getting here!?" shouted Mario, looking at Blue who shrugged.

"We were getting nowhere on names, anyway so talking about his problems wouldn't be off topic," replied Blue." And what do you want us to do anyway, other than pretend to feel sorry for you or something of the likes of it."

"I want you two to find me a female companion-one that shares many if not all the same interests as I do," replied Marth, sitting next to Lucina." And one that doesn't have all of my moves fro our game, or at least copies of them or something of the likes." 

"If you need me, I'll be milking Daisy," replied Mario, making his way out of the fast-food place." And I don't mean the Princess!"

Blue turned to face Marth who turned to face Lucina who was giving a confused look at the two of the before shrugging.

"Anyway, Marth, the first rule to finding a female companion-other than the love interests that are in Fire Emblem, which brings up my first question: Why in the nae of Lucina didn't you date on of them?" explained Blue, becoming confused over how easy this task would be otherwise.

"I only like normal girls that can hold their own against the enemy," replied Marth causally shrugging." And they all died before we even got to roast the pig."

She became confused at that, but decided to ignore it." Anyway, the point is the first rule to finding that special lady is figuring out what exactly you're looking for. So, Marth, what are you looking for?"

"Well, I'm looking for a way to figure out what exactly you're saying I'm supposed to be looking for," replied Marth shrugging.

"At least you're a Prince Marth, not a smart one, but a Prince already."

"They say I fell way too any times when I was knocked out of the stage."

"Right…..So Marth, what kind of gal are you looking for?"

"Well, I'm looking for one that this one girl Becky keeps talking about, along with this musician that says that her butt is very large, and all of his male friends apparently like and want. This leads to him talking about how much he wants a piece of her steak causing him to groan loudly at the mere thought of having-"

"Marth, that is not the girl you should be-never mind, the point is you're supposed to be looking for a girl that will treat you nice, and won't cut off your manhood, or tongue then force you to eat them."

"OH NO SHE DIDN'T!" shouted Wario, somewhere in the distance.

Marth immediately covered his pelvic.

"I was…..kidding, you foolish Prince, but I have to say I found pleasure in your sorrow a tad bit. Marth, the point is this is going to take a long time since you're unique in your own special way, and I must know if you are ready to do this."

"I think I am, but will-"

"Forget about the whole…...you know what, let's just talk like normal friends."

"But I do not know you….."

"WARIO TIME!" shouted Wario in the distance. 


	21. Chapter 21 Pit's Horrible Story

It was a normal day at the McDonald's in a location that still hasn't been specified, and the three Smashers, with their hearing aid for one of them, were busy waiting for customers to come to their restaurant as they were too lazy to go and attract people themselves. Mario was still wondering if anyone new they existed, and thought it would've been a better idea to move to the Smash city sine everybody seemed to be passing through there more than they passed through here. Though that would require money that they didn't have, and time they actually had, so in a way they were better off staying in the middle of no where, which brought up another subject.

"WHY ARE WE STILL HERE!?" shouted Mario, looking around the fast-food place noticing that Marth was sleeping, and Blue was playing poker with a blind Lucina." THERE'S NOTHING OUT HERE!"

"Where are we going to go, exactly?" asked Blue raising an eyebrow." There's the city nearby, but everybody managed to buy out what little property there was already. Plus, it's still in construction anyway, so staying here is better."

"We're out in the middle of nowhere now, since the Yoshi stampede through all neighboring franchises associated with Nintendo have been destroyed, robbed, and eaten like nothing!" shouted Mario, pointing to the corner of the restaurant." The tumbleweed's too bored, and confused to even roll through the outside world to show how deserted it is!"

The Tumbleweed barely even moved an inch as it woke up from its nap, despite that plants don't need to sleep.

"Mario, we are slowly-" began Blue.

"I'M UP!" shouted Marth, waking from his nap with a jolt, rolling into the edge of a nearby table." OW!"

"Biding our time, so that we pop up out of-" began Blue.

"Wait, I thought that we were already in the city?" asked Marth, raising an eyebrow at the two." Since Chrom was across the street from us, and we've been I here for at least-"

Suddenly, realization dawned on them that they were no longer in Smash anymore, but they were in fact in-

"AFRICA!" shouted The Three in union, running out of the shop, through the seemingly calm desert.

"GOTTA GET HOME!" shouted Mario.

Within a minute, they ran through the doors of their former shop in the actual city they were once in, running to the counter to find a strange being.

"ALIENS!" shouted Mario, pointing at the green, scaly, tall creatures that were busy doing their jobs.

"GET 'EM!" shouted Marth, drawing his sword from no where, jumping over the counter like Spider-man, skewering an alien with ease.

After that, the entire shop exploded as Darth Vader crackled evilly at the destruction and mayhem he caused before being wiped out by Dark Pit, who happened to be hunting for him.

"GOTTA GO FAST!" shouted Dark Pit, losing a finger in the process as he gloated over the dead body of Sonic." GOTTA GO FASTER THAN FAST AND HARDER THAN HARD! GOTTA! GO! SUPER! DARK PIT!"

"NOT IF I CAN-" began Pit, running down a long hill after finding out that the ultimate Pit was about to be born.

In his rush to try and stop his evil Pit, he tripped over a rock that sent him flying into a pit of lava, ending both of the Pit's reign on the galaxy. Then, from the ashes of a former Lucina, came Samus Aran who had the hips like Jagger and caused a giant metallic monster to erupt from Peach's stomach. This in turn angered Super Sayian Silver Chrom who decided to throw his GIANT SPEAR AT THE HEAD OF SAMUS ARAN KILLING ALL LIFE ON EARTH, BUT HE WAS FOILED BY A DASHING MAN NAMED LINK WHO STABBED HIM IN THE BACK WITH A FORK!

"FORK POWAAAAA!" bellowed Link, beating his chest as the Fork Nation rose from the particles of a broken world. His eyes glowed red as he was GIVEN THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS TO RAIN DOWN FORKS ALL OVER HIS LEGS." FORKS ATTACK!"

"But sir Link!" shouted Zelda, walking up to Link, pulling a spoon from a GIANT WALLET OF SACKS." The spoon is mightier than the fork, and your mother would be mad at you for trying to kill the spoons!"

Link turned to her, his eyes glowing a deep red as blood trickled down his face." I HAVE NO MOTHER!"

"Link!" shouted Palutena, teleporting in front of him." I am your Mother!"

Link staggered backwards, the shock too great for him to handle."WHAT IS THIS INSOLENCE!?"

Palutena smiled with the ray of a thousand suns," Your Heavenly God Mother!"

"I AM MARTH AND YOU SHALL DIE!"shouted The Heroic, Bashful Intelligent, Handsome, Sexy, Prince Marth The King of Princes and The Conqueror of Worlds as he blew up all that opposed him."FOR SPARTA!"

And they all lived in a horrible place where chickens were able to kill gods.

THE END

* * *

><p>"So, what do you think?" asked Pit, his eyes filled to the brim of anticipation at what Mario was going to say." Was it good? Did you like it?"<p>

Mario slowly placed the paper on the table, staring down at it before finally looking at Pit, waving his arms in the air." What-a is this insolence!?"

Pit sighed loudly, his spirit crushed," My gift to Lady Palutena after she said I needed to be more….creative in my writings."

"What-a is this insolence!?" shouted Mario, jumping into the air.

"A failed attempt at trying to please a woman who can't even cook a meal without burning the house down," muttered Pit, staring at his lap.

"WHAT-A IS THIS INSOLENCE!?" shouted Mario, back-flipping out of the store blowing up whatever was in his wake.

Marth scratched his head, bewildered at what just happened before shrugging it off, and continuing to eat the lunch Palutena packed for him.


	22. Chapter 22 Got Marth?

"Got milk?" asked Marth, wearing a _Got Milk? _T-shirt off those commercials, and multiple advertisements for said product, striking a very sexual female pose.

A horde of fan-girls screamed at the top of their lungs at the mere sight of this non-strip show that was happening right before their very eyes; causing Mario's head to split open for the tenth time today.

"When I take off my shirt, and strike a cute, sexual, homosexual like pose, everybody kicks me out of the place I'm in while trying to put my shirt on!" shouted Wario, angrily slamming his Styrofoam cup on the counter, causing a green liquid to pour out the sides." So this is complete-"

"Wario, we don't want to be mentally scarred due to you exposing yourself in public like that," muttered Mario, rolling his eyes at Wario while crossing his arms over his chest, exhaling loudly." Great, now we have a reason to-"

"Oh, let him be Mario, he's not hurting anyone and he seems to be enjoying this," replied Blue, waving her hand dismissively at her.

"He seems to be enjoying it a little _too_ much," countered Mario, pointing at Marth.

Marth was busy groping one woman's breasts while he grinded against another with enough spirit to kill Sparta in one fell swoop. Blue's left eyebrow twitched slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest, turning to give Mario a death glare.

"Why are you looking at me like that for?" asked Mario, raising an eyebrow."Sure, I agreed that it might have been a good idea, but I also-"

"You're fired," interrupted Blue.

"Wait, why?"

"Because you agreed with one of my ideas, now please get out of my sight so I can kill Marth and re-hire you again."

Wario and Mario cautiously backed away from Blue before quickly running out of the store, grabbing Marth and dragging him in the process causing the fan-girls to follow him.

"GOT MILK!?" shouted Marth.


	23. Chapter 23 Mentioning Crazy

This was probably one of the weirdest things that anyone had ever laid eyes on next to most of the Smash Brothers pairings, and Captain Falcon's blue balls, which was something that was though impossible to do. Yet the main villain of The Legend of Zelda managed to surpass that quite nicely by walking up to the newly installed jukebox that was way past its time, shaking his rump before going in for the kill. The kill being loudly, and violently, humping the jukebox for no apparent reason, causing multiple sounds to emit from the back of his throat like a censored scene of an old cartoon. Not only were the customers disgusted, and leaving but some were even turned on by the sheer scene of Ganondorf humping a jukebox loudly with strange noises emitting from the back of his throat. Mario and Marth were both watching half dazed, and half surprised at the fact that even Ganondorf was capable of doing actions that could ruin his reputation.

"Hey, I just came here to give-" began The Master Hand, floating into the fast-food eatery, casually before noticing that the two males were in a trance.

He turned to Ganondorf humping a jukebox, sighing loudly before he spun around, backhanding the two Smashers with ease; managing not to knock them out. They both looked around at the area they were in frantically before finally noticing The Master Hand was floating right in front of them.

"I was just about to do something that I probably shouldn't be doing, but then I noticed the other thing that Ganondork over there isn't supposed to be doing, at all," translated The Master Hand, quickly pointing at Ganondorf who was now emitting duck sounds.

"As long as nobody finds out about it, then it's perfectly legal," countered Mario, ducking as Marth was knocked through the back wall of the shop.

"I swear you're starting to sound like Crazy Hand with that logic," replied The Master Hand." Anyway, the point is that I going to do that when I noticed Ganondorf doing…..whatever he's doing, and I wanted to warn you that I fear the Crazy is about to begin."

Mario blinked twice before Master Hand sighed loudly.

"Crazy Hand's about to come here, and whenever he goes somewhere a paradox effect will slowly happen before his arrival, causing thing like this-"

Marth walked up to The Master Hand, wearing nothing but a trash can sprayed pink, shaking his head in disapproval.

"This trash can makes my shoulders look too big, and I feel as though I could be turned into a Tin Man if I were to follow a yellow-brick road," replied Marth, sighing loudly as he fixed his trash can.

"And that to happen in the universe, or the surrounding area in this case. Since he's Crazy Hand, the universe automatically bends to suit his needs, otherwise the crazy would be too great that he could kill us all with the power of pure insanity. That and he's way too crazy to contain, let alone control."

"So basically, we're screwed?" asked Mario, crossing his arms while raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, basically, so have fun being screwed!"

With that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a dazed Link in a bikini in place of Ganondorf who disappeared shortly after. Marth was still wearing his trash can, and shrugged when Link gave him the look that summed up the whole situation in general.

"Link, why're you wearing a bikini?" asked Mario, raising an eyebrow at Link.

"Isn't it obvious Papa Mario?" asked Link before straightening his posture, puffing out his chest and ass, one hand placed on his shoulder blade, the other on his head as he smiled seductively at Mario." I'm obviously a female version of Link."

The two Smashers looked at Link in confusion, and disgust before quickly backing away from her, running out of the eatery the second she took a step at one of them; shortly running after them.


	24. Chapter 24 Bad to the Prince

"OH MY GOD! JESSICA LOOK AT HIS OUTFIT! IT'S JUST SO SMEXY!" shouted A girl named Megan once spotting Marth walking into his workplace." HE MUST BE ONE THOSE BAD-TO-THE-BONE TOUGH GUYS!"

Mario looked up from his causal game of poker with Wario, who decided to work here for the time being, a blank expression on his face as he watched Marth walk up to them wearing a biker outfit. A pair of sunglasses were clipped on the collar of his shirt, and there was spray paint in his right hand. He shook the can violently before throwing it at the fryer, which caused the can to explode loudly, covering the back area in nothing but orange pain.

"Marth?" asked Mario, raising an eyebrow at him," why did you do that?"

"Because Mario, don't you see what I am now?" asked Marth, a gruff, tough edge to his voice.

"A bigger jerk than we ever thought possible?" asked Wario, quickly grabbing a ten dollar bill from the pile of assorted bills on the counter, slipping it into his overall pocket.

"No, you pathetic, chubby, fat man," said Marth, gruffly, causing Wario to grumble softly." I'm no longer a Prince abiding by the rules in fact, I'm-" He grabbed the pair of sunglasses clipped on his shirt, slowly putting them on his face before snapping his fingers, pointing at the two." Bad to the bone."

Shortly after, Shadow ran into the fast-food place, an electric guitar in his hand playing the beginning to _Bad to the Bone, _before Marth quickly jumped on top of the counter; kicking the dollar bills to the floor. Wario scrambled to get them, but Mario quickly sucked them up using the Poltergeist 5000, foiling his plans once again.

"On the day I was born!" shouted Marth, letting Shadow do his thing." The Kingdom all gathered around, gazed in wild wonder, at the joy they had found! The King spoke up said, _Leave this one alone, _he could tell right away I was Bad to the Bone! Bad to the bone! B-b-b-b-b-bad! B-b-b-b-b-bad! B-b-b-b-b-bad! Bad to the bone! I broke a thousand armies before I met you! And I'd break a thousand more baby, before I'm-"

"GETTING OFF THE COUNTER AND BEHAVING LIKE AN ACTUAL PRINCE!" shouted Ike, quickly running up to Marth, pulling off the counter by his ear." IF YOU DON'T START ACTING LIKE YOUR USUAL SELF THEN WE'RE ALL GOING TO FADE INTO EXISTANCE!"

"But-but Blue said that the ladies love a bad boy!" whined Marth like a little girl, pointing at Blue who was causally having a discussion with Lucina.

Slowly, Blue turned to him, a sweat drop rolling down her face. She chuckled nervously, waving slowly at the two.

"Right Blue!?" shouted Marth, returning to his usual self.

"Yeah, but…...in my defense, I actually thought he wasn't going to actually do all of this," replied Blue, shrugging then chuckling nervously.

Ike quickly released Marth, angrily walking out of the fast-food place all eye on him, before Shadow quickly shrug then began to play _All Hail Shadow, s_hortly teleporting to an unknown location.

"Wait, Shadow's in Smash!?" gasped Wario, turning to Mario who shrugged." Why haven't they used him!?"

"Sonic's more popular than him," replied Mario, shrugging before going to clean up what Marth did earlier.

The Prince merely shrugged, taking the sunglasses off before going to count the number of cups left at the soda machine.


	25. Chapter 25 Smashing Battle

A battle of the ages was raging on between two Smashers, each legends, each known for their popularity, each possessing power equal to the other, and each concentrated on beating the other in this battle that decided where they stood in the series. Mario, Wario, and Sonic watched in awe occasionally taking a sip from their large drinks, or a bite from their Big Macs hungry for a true battle, and because their stomachs hadn't eaten anything since six o'clock in the morning. Lucina and Blue decided to leave the morons to satisfy their own needs, going out on another random shopping spree to pass the time; hopefully coming back to the calm aftermath of the raging battle.

"They've been at it for a good ten minutes," replied Wario, inhaling his Big Mac in one breath, sucking down his drink equally as fast." This might be one of the battles in Smash that _nobody _is going to win."

"Yeah, but they're holding onto that thing like its their lifeline, or better yet, their only love," agreed Sonic, spinning his Big Mac around while taking a sip from his drink." They're stronger than Ganondorf and Bowser!"

"Yeah, and we knew how that arm wrestling match went down," groaned Mario, remembering one of the darker days in the Smash Mansion." Blew us all away, literally."

"C'mon, Marth!" shouted Shulk, walking out of the bathroom after taking a brief intermission, pumping his fist into the air violently, and quickly." Show that big, round, pink ball who's the real boss with your small, scrawny, pipe cleaner arms!"

"Well, he's really feeling it," replied Mario, looking at Marth before turning to the fight." C'mon Kirby, fight for that food like it's your life! Which I think it is, but still fight!"

"YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS FOOD!" shouted Marth, placing one of his feet on Kirby's face, grunting loudly pulling with all his might." NOT UNTIL YOU PAY FOR IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON LIVING IN A SOCIETY LIKE THIS!"

Kirby returned this by pulling twice as hard, biting Marth's heel, sinking his non existence teeth into his flesh; stepping backwards with such sheer force it could break Bowser's shell. Marth bellowed loudly, shaking his leg in an attempt to shake him off, never letting go of his grip on the tray of food that somehow managed to stay on the tray despite being in the middle of a tug-o'-war. See, Kirby never really pays for his food, he just orders everything off the menu, sucks it up then repeats the process until he's satisfied. The entire inventory's sucked dry before they even get through the day, causing them to lose money, and time they could be using for something else other than Kirby. So today, Marth decided to take matters into his own hands resulting in this battle.

"How are they not tired?" asked Mario." I mean yeah they're Smashers and everything, but wouldn't they be tired already?"

"Now that you mention it, why are they doing this in the first place?" asked Wario." And couldn't Kirby just kick Marth in the balls, then Fred Flintstone it the hell outta here?"

Realization dawned on Kirby as he released his hold on Marth, quickly kicking him in his balls, causing the Prince to release his hold on the tray; allowing Kirby the time to escape with the food in tow.

"I'll get you, you Pink Black Hole!" shouted Marth, waving his fist at Kirby, kneeling down in pain.

"Well, that was easy, and very pointless," replied Mario, walking away from the counter as business resumed like usual.


	26. Chapter 26 Blasting Off!

"THE SYSTEM'S WHACK! BLOW IT UP AND BLOW IT DOWN MY FELLOW COMRADES!" shouted Shulk at the top of his lungs, standing on one of the tables yet again." NO LONGER SHOULD WE PAY FOR OVERPRICED FOOD WHEN WE COULD THAT FOR HALF THE PRICE OVER AT THE OTHER PLACE JUST ACROSS THE STREET! THEY HAVE BUY THREE MEALS GET A FOURTH ONE FREE OF CHARGE AND THEY GOT FLAT SCREEN TELEVISIONS! FLAT SCREEN FORTY-TWO YEAR OLD FLIPPING TV'S AND WHAT DOES THIS PLACE HAVE! NOTHING BUT A JUKEBOX AND A BUMBLING IDIOT THAT CAN'T EVEN PLAY HIS OWN MUSIC CORRECTLY LET ALONE MINE!"

"HEY I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT YOUNG MAN!" shouted Dark Pit, sitting at the only piano in McDonald's in the corner, playing all the notes to _Seven Rings in Hand _incorrectly." YOU TRY PLAYING ON AN INSTRUMENT THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXISIT IN THIS PLACE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU KNOW WHAT-" He flipped over the piano, angrily marching out of the restaurant."I'M GOING TO BURGER KING SINCE THEY DON'T HAVE PIANO'S IN THERE AND THEY HAVE FREE REFILLS!"

Mario looked at Marth," We had a piano in here?" asked Mario, causing Marth to shrug.

"SO JOIN WITH ME MY FELLOW CONSUMERS AND LET US MAKE HASTE AWAY FROM THIS PLACE THAT DEGRADES US LIKE A HATED RACE! WE SHALL DINE LIKE KINGS IN A FINE MANNER OVER AT THE ONE PLACE WHERE SHINER IS BETTER! CHROM'S BURGER KIBG WHICH IS THE BEST IN THE ENTIRE CITY!" shouted Shulk, quickly stepping off the table, watching as the customers all stampeded across the street.

Marth looked at Mario," Since when does that make sense?" asked Marth causing the Plumber to shrug.

"WHAT THE-" began Wario, quickly scrambling out of the back, realizing that the money had left the building." WHY-" He looked at Shulk, who counted the money Chrom had given him to do the performance he just did." SHULK I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Wario charged at Shulk like a big, yellow, Mexican bull grabbing him by his throat, dragging him to the back. The two watched as Wario revved up the closest fryer he could find, dunking Shulk's head into it multiple times; causing him to scream at the top of his lungs, and really feel the burn of a thousand suns on his face which caused his face to slowly melt.

"ARE YOU REALLY FEELING IT SHULK! ARE YOU REALLY, REALLY FEELING THE PAIN OF MY AGONY OVER THE LOSS OF MY OBESSION! MY WAY OF LIFE!?" bellowed Wario, crackling evilly as he shook Shulk, slapping his melting face with his hand." DO YA!?"

Shulk still continued to scream, causing Wario to rev up the fryers to the newly, and untested, temperature that had the potential to actually kill somebody worse than this. He then shoved Shulk into the fryer, ignoring the screams as he lit a match with a matchbox he pulled out of his overalls.

"WARIO NO!" shouted The Two Smashers, quickly running over to Wario who threw the match into the fryer.

Immediately, the McDonald's was sent blasting off into the sky for the first time by a giant explosion of pure, heated, greasy magma that melted everything within its path. Luckily, nobody was injured due to cartoon violence, and the fact that Smashers can't die via magma balls of grease.


	27. Chapter 27 Tired

"Sorry, we're closed until nine o'clock in the barn," slurred Mario, nearly falling over the counter, his eyes bloodshot red." Bee again!"

"My hand looks like a dragon!" shouted Marth, cautiously and tiredly eying his hand that was breathing fire, roaring loudly."No!" He pointed his free hand at it, causing it to back off." No! Bad hand! Bad! You shall not eat the one that brought you into this world!"

Wario, scratching his head unable to process what was going on, walked to the duo who were stumbling around in place trying their best not to fall to the floor.

"What's wrong with ya two idiots!?" shouted Wario rather calmly, causing the two to back-flip into the air, landing in separate trash cans about five feet from where they were."Why do I even bother?"

"Sir, I shall have another round of your shrimp cocktail!" declared Marth, pointing his arm at the roof demanding that he be treated like royalty." And get that African out of the sewer before he dies! We need to be in union for the right people of diet coke!"

"All right, you heard the man!" shouted Sheik, walking out of the fast-food place, pointing at a nearby group of people who were all crowded around a sewer." Get that man out of the well so we can all have diet coke without any worry!"

Link walked up to Wario with a can of Red Bull in his left hand, slowly drinking it while looking at the two tired Smashers that were busy trying to get out of their trash cans.

"They've been forced to work the night shift for at least a couple of days, or so I think, so they're obviously tired," replied Link, shrugging as he walked away.

Wario shrugged, walking away to continue business as usual all while the two Smashers tried to escape their trash cans.


	28. Chapter 28 Family Man Marth

"Lucina, Marth is thinking about becoming a family man," replied Mario, walking up to Lucina and Blue who both turned their heads.

"Why?" asked Blue, confused." Isn't he already a man?"

Mario chuckled lightly before slowly backing away from them, running away to find Marth, who was busy fighting his way through a horde of Black Knights. They were no match for his sword strikes which landed the killing blow between their eyes or their ribs, and not even worthy to call themselves rivals.

"DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME DOWN BECAUSE I AM SUPER FAMILY MAN MARTH!" shouted Marth, drop kicking a charging knight into a group of running knights, causing them to tumble down like domino's." I SHALL DEFEND MY FAMILY WITH MY LIFE AND MY FELLOW FRIENDS' FAMILIES AS WELL!"

Ganondorf looked from Meta-Knight to Shulk who shrugged once they saw his gaze." What is the meaning of this!?" demanded Ganondorf, watching as his trained group of knights were being decimated by one crazed blue haired swordsman." Why is he here!?"

"The question should be _how _is he here, since he just came out of no where to ruin our bet," replied Meta-Knight, annoyed at this conversation." Now we all have to pay each other."

"I never made a bet on anything," replied Shulk, shrugging." I thought we were all trying to get closer."

The two glared at him as Marth stood on top of a pile of dead soldiers, his cape flapping proudly in the wind as he planted his sword on top.

"Now that that's over with, time to become a family man!" shouted Marth, disappearing into the dark to become a family man.


	29. 29 Felxin' Feelin' Chaos

"I'm sorry, Mario, but it's hotter than Lucina in a bikini out there!" shouted Skulk, wiping his sweaty brow while grabbing the free drink supplied by Marth." I'm really feelin' how hot it is out there when I'm fully clothed!"

"Yes, but why do you have to walk around in your underwear everywhere?" asked Mario, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because we don't have a working air conditioning unit," replied Blue causally walking by." Also, there's no law saying he can't be nearly naked in here."

"But there should be a law in every state saying that if you aren't wearing pants, shirts, or shoes you should be thrown out on the spot!" shouted Pit, furiously wiping down the tables.

"Pit, nobody cares that you were forced into helping us," returned Shulk, pouring the drink over his head.

"But Mario, if we are to go by the laws of this new world shouldn't abnormal things like almost butt naked sweaty men feeling the heat not caring about how workers were forced into doing work like slaves, be a typical day in a McDonald's or a fast food place?" asked Marth.

Mario shrugged," You have a point there. One time I walked onto the subway, and a guy wearing a bikini was trying to get a group of women to touch this while a giant anaconda wasn't listening to it's owner because she didn't have buns, Hun, all while Sonic was break dancing."

The three men started at Mario, mouths wide open causing the Plumber to shrug."What it's the truth."

Ganondorf walked into the fast food eatery, wearing nothing but swimming trunks and made his way to the counter where he quickly jumped on top of it and started flexin' his big, meaty, biceps.

"GET OFF THE COUNTER!" shouted Mario, trying to push him off.

"I'M FLEXIN'!" shouted Ganondorf, kicking him in his face, effectively knocking him out.

Marth scratched his head before going to work, leaving Ganondorf to his flexin'.


	30. Chapter 30

"YOU WIN THIS ROUND CHROM BUT MARK MY WORDS YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF MARTH VON STRANGLE!" shouted Marth, angrily waving his fist at Chrom before quickly running to the bathroom, covered in fish stick sauce.

Mario turned to Bowser, who was just on his way to fight Peach, if that makes sense,"What's up with Marth and Chrom?"

"Well, it's a long story-" began Bowser.

"Are we going to go into a flashback to give some back story?" interupted Mario, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I was going to tell YOU the story, but since you dun gone messed it up, we gotta go into it anyway!" shouted Bowser.

_Enter the Flashback_

"Chrom I'm hungry, and since I don't want to make anything to eat I decided to ask you to make food for the both of us," said Marth, walking into the kitchen after an intense fight with Link.

"That's one way of asking if you could have what I'm having," replied Chrom, walking over to the fridge."I'll make some fish sticks."

Marth frowned,"Those things you call food?"

Chrom's ego dropped about three points, causing the universe to fight Zelda while an epic-

"Okay, you told me that Chrom said Marth's crown was a tiara which is why they fight, so where did this mess come from?" asked Mario raising an eyebrow.

Bowser walked away without getting his food, leaving Mario to himself.


	31. 31 He Just Don't Care

"It was a slow day in the McDonald's' which wasn't unusual for a McDonald's' since their food really isn't that great and you get a lot of people who are too lazy to make their own food; plus have you seen how they clean the floors? They get way too much water on the floor when they mop, and if you aren't careful it's like a free version of a backyard slip and slide except you have a chance to break a hipbone," translated Link, sitting on the counter with a Teletubby on his back.

"Link, what're you doing?" asked Pit, walking up to the swordsman with a full bucket in his arms.

"Narrating the beginning of this fan fiction for once, since I have nothing else better to do than fight Zelda or call Ganondorf a dork," replied Link shrugging, pointing his finger at Pit's chest." What're YOU doing?"

"Carrying around a bucket of water so it looks like I'm doing something so I don't get yelled at," said Pit, shrugging.

At that exact moment, Marth walked out of the manager's office in the back his hands on his hips and his face full of sorrow.

"That's not the spirit, Pit!" shouted Marth, clicking his teeth." You're supposed to look like you aren't working so I can yell at you."

Link blinked twice, then looked at him,"What kind of logic is that and who put you in charge?"

"That's what Lucina did before she…..left us," replied Marth, his shoulders drooping in sorrow as he looked at his feet.

Everybody in the fast food place decided to look down at their feet, letting the silence engulf them for a minute before Link said,"She was the best fighter I knew. May she find peace wherever she is."

"What are you saying?" asked Marth looking at Link,"she just went to see Dr. Mario to get her face redone and healed. She'll be back, unless the evil Dr. Mario plans to torture her."

The Teletubby on Link's back let out an infant giggle, causing the Prince to nearly faint on the spot.

"What is that thing!? It looks like a weird version of a Pikmin!"

"A being from a TV show in the 90's I believe," translated Pit, shrugging." At least I think, but I heard they're getting a reboot next year."

"IF THERE IS A NEXT YEAR!" shouted Wario, slamming his hand on the counter while letting out a loud, wet fart.

The three stared at him briefly." When did you get here?" asked Link.

"Been here since ya'll walked in, but you couldn't see me because I was so awesome!" shouted Wario, slamming his hand on the table while letting out an obnoxious laugh.

"Why are you-never mind, the point is I just hope Lucina's okay. Dr. Mario has been known for being a little mad."

"I'm sure she's fine, Marth! She is a woman after all! You know the only thing she has to do is sweet talk the Doctor by showing him her legs! They're sex idols after all!" sneered Wario.

* * *

><p>"Can you fix her Doc?" asked Chrom, eating a frozen bag of fish sticks straight out of the bag.<p>

Dr. Mario placed his check board on his desk as he spun around in his rollie chair to look at Chrom, The Masked Lucina, and his counterpart Mario." No, I cannot because I'm not really a doctor just Mario in a doctor outfit, plus I don't have my tools."

"Where are they, might I ask?" asked Mario, crossing his arms over his chest.

"In Paluttena's closet," replied Dr. Mario shrugging."Please don't ask how they got there, it involves an unnecessary flashback."

"So you want me to go get them?" asked Mario, rolling his eyes." Or are you just saying that so I can get my ass handed to me by a woman for the tenth time today?"

"That's why you are always so grumpy!" gasped Chrom devouring a fish stick in one bite." I always thought it was because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed!"

Mario grumbled to himself before walking out of the office, furiously slamming the door causing Kirby to jump up from his post helping people check-in.

* * *

><p>"MARIO!" shouted Bowser at the top of his lungs." MARIO! MARIO! WHERE IS THAT ITALIAN MEXCIAN CHINESE-WHATEVER RACE HE IS PLUMBER!?"<p>

"You need somethin' Bow-Wow?" asked Luigi, poking his head out from the bathroom on the second floor.

Bowser turned around, and stomped his way toward Luigi who blinked twice.

"And who are you again?" asked Bowser, titling his head to the side.

Luigi blinked twice,"What're you talking about? It's-a me, Luigi!"

Bowser stared at him blankly,"Who?"

"You know, Mario's skinnier less active brother?" asked Luigi, staring at him with desperation in his eyes.

Bowser shook his head." Doesn't ring a bell."

Luigi slapped his forehead." Green Stache."

"Oh, yeah! It's you Green Stache! How are you doing after all these years I cared so much about your well being! Oh, wait, I don't and never will be because you aren't my mortal enemy!"

With that remark, Bowser stomped away leaving an angered Luigi to himself.

"Why doesn't anybody pay attention to Luigi?" asked Luigi, sighing loudly scratching his head." Maybe I should date somebody that's well known."

* * *

><p>"Did you know, that this may be the first chapter in the entire story that feature more than just the regular Smashers?" asked Mega Man to Dark Pit, as they watched Mario being chased y Pit.<p>

"And I, along with everybody else, should care about this because?" sneered Dark Pit, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I just thought that needed to be said since this means that we're going to appear more!" chimed Mega Man.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" shouted Mario, running up a building at the speed of a Mustang.

"YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE PIT MAGNET! YOU JUST DON'T!" shouted Pit, jumping after Mario like Donkey Kong.


End file.
